I am not a member, but, I am hoping for a little help, if anyone would be so kind.
I prefer to write about the 12-18 age group, but, its been awhile since I was any of those ages, and even when I was...I was not remotely normal, so using my memories and own experiences is somewhat limiting. So here is a questionnaire anyone can fill out, particularly if you happen to be 12-18. Thanks!
1. What makes a good friend in general?
2. What do you think makes a good friend for you?
3. What do you think makes you a good or bad friend?
4. About how many people do you consider your friends?
5. Do you have a best friend, or small number of very close friends you consider to be different from the rest of your friends?
6. How do you classify your peer relationships: are all positive relationships friendships or are do you assign a hierarchical order (best friend, close friends, in school friends, in and out of school friends, out of school friends, kinda friends/casual acquaintances, etc)?
7. How do you determine who is a possible new friend? Similar interests, similar clothing style, musical tastes, ever “just know” someone looked like good friend material, etc?
8. At what point does a new acquaintance become “a friend”?
9. When do you consider a friendship terminated? How do you communicate that to the former friend if they do not automatically know the friendship is over?
10. What sorts of behaviors in a person that result in the friendship ending are worthy of holding a grudge? What would make you not friends but not have any hard feelings?
More than Friends:
1. How do you classify your feelings for people than go beyond just friendship?: what is “a crush”? When is it more than a crush? When, in terms of feelings for the other person, do you ask someone out or accept an invitation to be going out?
2. Do you participate in casual dating in which both parties may go out with other people or only what was once called “going steady” where you only go out with the person you are “going out” with?
3. For that matter, maybe the whole “going out” thing has change or change names since I was in high school/middle school, what do you call it these days? What does it mean?
4. What levels are their to a romantic relationship (when is it serious and how it get that way)?
5. When dating, when do you consider, even jokingly, marriage and or a long term future together?
6. When do you share these ideas with the other person? When it is still just something you recognize as unlikely or only when you feel strongly that it could happen?
7. When is it appropriate to say “I love you”? What responses apart from “I love you too” can be given? Is there ever a good way to communicate that you are not ready for the L word but are happy with the relationship going in that direction in the future?
8. What is romantic love? How intense of a feeling? When does it change from “really liking” and being “interested” to love?
9. What do you look for in a romantic relationship? How serious are you about it at the onset?
10. Do you believe in true love, soul mates, “the one”, or some other phenomenon that makes a successful, long lasting relationship? Or is it all just random and people can be happy with any number of other people?
11. Are you even interested in a long term relationship (more than 7 years, say), or would you prefer to play the field before making any decisions even if you find a person you are otherwise happy with?
12. How do you determine if you are in love?
13. What is “puppy love”?
14. Love and hate are sometimes said to be closely related, does that make any sense to you? Why or Why not?
15. What are you opinions about Romeo and Juliet style love, where there are huge dividing factors, like a family feud or families not approving of the religion, race, etc of some one's choice of love partner? Is it worth trying to date when there are huge barriers like family or, say a Catholic and Protestant in Northern Ireland during the Troubles or maybe an Israeli and Palestinian, where whole cultures might be hostile to each other? Or a large socioeconomic gap? Or just someone with a “bad reputation”?
16. How much do sexual attraction and love have to do with each other? Can you separate sex and romantic love, or do the two need to go together to be good?
17. When is it over? How do you break it off? “It takes two to tango, but one to let go”? What options does a person who does not want to end the relationship have? Is it better to try to be friends or try for a clean break? Why do some relationships end very badly even if no one cheated or did anything particularly awful?
18. How long does it take you to “get over” someone? How long do you think it should take for a relationship lasting a year or more? Do you think its odd if a person never gets over it, even if they were quite young, or is that just how it goes sometimes?
19. Is it ok to never fall in love, date, marry, etc or is that sad or weird?
20. Jealousy is usually unavoidable at some point, how do you think are good ways for a couple to handle it when it arises?
Completely random and largely hypothetical:
1. How much do you know about caring for an infant? If you suddenly found yourself alone in the woods with one, and would have to spend several days with it before reaching other people, how would you cope? Assume you have enough knowledge/supplies to care for yourself, how long do you think you could keep the infant alive (and would you bother, its no relation to you)?
2. If you can the skills and knowledge to just walk off and explore the world (a pre-industrial world where money is less of an issue and there are no highways to have to cross but possibly bandits or something...wolves....bears...but people are very spread out), would you? If you did, how long of a trip would you be looking to take?
3. Try to imagine as seriously as possible watching someone you didn't know, but was moderately hostile toward you and people you are with, being decapitated, how do you think you would feel?
4. Try to imagine watching someone die, someone who was not a friend or even nice to you but not your enemy and had not harmed or hated you, how might you feel?
5. How do you feel about power, political power, military power, social power, or even magical power if it existed? Who has the right to wield it? Would you want to?
6. Is a war for peace a contradiction or a plausible course of action? Can there ever be peace on a world scale (not necessarily our world, but, any world inhabited by humans)? Would it be necessary to eliminate countries, nations, and other boundaries for peace, or, could such things still exist peacefully?
7. Can someone bent on world domination ever be a good thing?
8. Imagine you are a prince (even if you are female), your father kills your elder brother for not cooperating in his scheme to capture the power of the gods to rule the world: what do you do? You liked your brother, but you also liked your father, do you know hate your father or not? You are now first in line for the throne, do you cooperate with his plans? If so, for fear he will kill you as well or because it is your duty.? Do you go against your father for killing your brother? Do you go against him for his plans? Remember, these are both your family whom you loved, how do you cope with the betrayal?
9. Can straight guys and girls ever really just be platonic friends? Even if both of them are attractive in general?
10. You are noble and honorable person, even a hero, but if you return home your people and even your family will shun you because you were unfairly banished and there is no way to convince them you are not a truly lowly criminal of the worst possible kind, how do you handle that?
11. Your best friend is about to embark on an incredibly dangerous journey which he will likely not survive alone, but, you have your younger brother with you and you are half way across the world from any friends or family. Do you abandon your friend, your brother, or try to take your brother along knowing you're taking him into incredible danger?
12. The world as you know it is changing, rapidly, in bad ways (...this one shouldn't be as hard to relate to...), what do you DO about it? Do you sit and wait for it to collapse or do you take drastic measures? Do you want to save the world, or just your own family, friends, or people? Do you only want to make sure you will not be miserable? Is there anything one young person can do against the huge tide of the world?